Letter to Umaiyal - Purpose of Life

16 Aug 2025

Dear Umaiyal, 

Hope this letter finds you still young, curious, and wide-eyed for the life ahead. You are so young, that your years, and months and weeks appear running at its perfect pace. Neither slow, nor too fast. As you grow up, and start learning new things - it will then appear very slow to you - because your mind is swimming against tides of ignorance, learning and recording every moment, struggling to keep up. And then there is a phase of life, which I pray you enter with awareness, where time will fly so fast, years like months, months like weeks, weeks like days and so on. By this time, my dear daughter, you will be out of school, and college, institutionalized learning and step into a life of earning, spending, saving, investing etc. Your focus will shift from the moment, to past and future. And a working life, at this point of time in society, is repetitive, routine and mundane. Your mind will go into autopilot mode, and stop recording anything, because whatever you do is already as per the records, nothing new. I warn you to be very cautious of this stage. Almost everyone in my life right now is at this stage. I have often wondered, during my late 20s, how life suddenly started moving very fast? But today, as I write this letter I realized the truth. It’s learning new things and facing new challenges that set the time of life, at its right pace. 

And this truth led me to ponder upon ‘the purpose of life’, which I want to save you the trouble of decoding it yourself. Read along, my dear. 

Life, biologically, has evolved for ‘survival’. Avoiding threats and dangers is life’s purpose then. But we humans have collectively pivoted from that journey and have created a world, where education, economy and technology empowers us with freedom. And this freedom switches one’s fundamental question of life from ‘How do I survive?’ to ‘Why do I exist?’.

This could happen to a human, at any point of life, as soon as all survival pressures ease.

This question will come to you sooner than it came to me—because by the time you are entering your school, your survival is already outsourced, knowledge is being democratized rapidly and comfort is the old normal. So, you (and your generation) might confront this question ‘Why do I exist’ very soon in life. Allow me to help you decode it easily. 

The purpose of Life: 

‘Purpose’ is a singular word, but the meaning of it is not. It delivers a constellation of meanings, distributed with change in directions throughout life as we grow up. In fact, the meaning of purpose is one and many. 

One, because each person tends to orient their life around a central thread that gives direction. 

Many, because that singular thread is woven from countless smaller purposes, daily acts, gestures, ambitions, struggles and joys. 

Now don’t feel overwhelmed by it my dear. Irrespective of the numerous variables it may present in life, the overall structure is only three parts: Learn, Teach, Defend. 

Learn — we begin as seekers, absorbing from the world, experiences, mistakes, and others. This stage humbles us.

Teach — when knowledge ripens, it naturally flows outward. Sharing is not about superiority, but about completeness of learning.

Defend — not in the sense of fighting, but in the sense of standing firm in your truth, living it authentically even when tested.

Looking back, I see how many years I wandered in search of a “purpose,” chasing one idea after another, but never quite finding one that truly resonated with me. Each attempt felt like trying on an ill-fitting garment—close, but never right.

It was only when I stopped forcing myself into a borrowed definition of purpose, and instead recognized a natural three-part structure, that things began to fall into place:

To Learn — to receive, to absorb, to grow from every joy and hardship.

To Teach — to share what has matured within me, so others may benefit from my path.

To Defend — to live my truth with conviction, even when tested, so that what I have learned and taught does not remain theory but becomes embodied wisdom.

Thiruvalluvar puts it ever so wisely, Learn thoroughly what should be learnt. And having learnt, stand according to that.

கற்க கசடறக் கற்பவை கற்றபின்நிற்க அதற்குத் தக.   (௩௱௯௰௧ - 391)

In this light, life no longer feels like an endless hunt for “the one purpose” but rather a journey with stages—each one meaningful in its own time. The pressure of comparison dissolves, because I am neither behind nor ahead; I am exactly where my stage requires me to be. And remember, Umaiyal, all 3 steps of this process are always ongoing. Learning, Teaching, Defending - never stops. And you carry the outcomes of it, for many many births and lifetimes. 

I look forward to the day when you ask me questions about this letter—not just to challenge what I have written, but to help me see it more clearly myself. For while I may be defensive in what I teach you, I understand that I remain a learner at heart, discovering something new each day and humbly aware of how much I still do not know. 

Carry this with you, Umaiyal—not as a rule, but as a compass. May it help you walk through life not asking, “What is the purpose of my life?” but instead playing strong, and true, in whatever you do.

Love, 

Appa.